As my mum's disease continues to progress, the decision has been made to sedate her more to make her comfortable. The hard tradeoff for this is that the more sedated she is - the less opportunities there are to have a conversation with her.
I called her this afternoon to see how her day had gone, but it wasn't the same. Over the last month things have changed from being able to have good talks with her to not much said at all. I'm sure this is something that I will mourn for over the coming weeks, months and years. I have been lucky to have a mother who I could talk to all the time. After I got married, Mum would often come over for lunch as she only worked up the road and I enjoyed having her company and friendship. During our conversation this afternoon I couldn't really understand what she was saying and I was overcome with emotion and couldn't say anymore. Luckily Eryn was in the room and I just handed the phone to her. I have booked a flight up this week to spend the day with my Mum - but I hope she isn't too sedated for me to still tell her how much I love her, how much she means to me and what an unwavering strength and support she has been in my life.
Before the emotion of the next few weeks and months comes, I wanted to put my feelings down as a memory and record to my Mum. As I flipped through my photo albums to find some photo's of her - I realised how few photo's I had of just my Mum and I. I guess it's like the typical Mum, always doing the work behind the camera, in the kitchen, sewing the outfits, working hard and loving her children through it all. I'm so glad that I have no big regrets with my relationship with my mother. I'm sure there were the typical childhood/teenager drama's where I could have been a little kinder, helped her more or tried harder. But overall, I am so glad with the relationship that we have and the legacy that she has left for me.
(p.s. Sorry Andrew for posting the below picture of you and Mum, but I really liked this one of her. It was the day you were ordained an Elder)
2 comments:
Leah, I am so glad you have peace with your Mum. I'm sure the next little while will be hard for your family, we will keep you in our prayers.
Love,
Kel
Great photos Leah. Let me know if you need anything when you come up again.
Post a Comment