Returning home

About two weeks ago, Addison and I headed back up to Brisbane to visit with my Mum and try and spend time with her and be of some help where I could. My first shock was how much I had started aclimatising to Sydney weather. I felt the heat the whole time I was there. My mums health has continued to deteriorate quickly in the last few months. She was originally diagnosed with Mesothelioma back in September 2009. As you can see from the photo below, she has lost a lot of weight. Her pain is being managed by patches and oral drugs. Fluid build up remains a problem along with the constant nausea. Thankfully she is sleeping better now, thanks to tweaking her sleeping pills, but these also cause a drowsiness to come over her for alot of the day. Conversations with her are not as long as usual, but sometimes if you catch her at the right time of day - it is good. One of my goals when I was up there was to finish 'Her Story'. But I was disappointed that I didn't accomplish this, due to working around her daily naps/hospital admission etc.


It is very hard to watch the deteoration of your own mother. Up until my visit, I had been able to not think about it or forget that it was even happening. But since my visit, it is all that I think about. Being back in Sydney doesn't help either as
you wish you were back up there. I recently read as a comment on someones blog about my Mum that they " hope she feels better". The realisation that things won't get better is something my Mum faces everyday. Her bravery and kindness is inspiring to me. And throughout it all she continues to be concerned about her children - see worrying about your kids never ends!